Find reason
by SW
Summary: Goku's feelin' a lil sad ~Fluff


3 hours, 3 hellish hours of chasing that damn Yokkai…

Find reason

By SW

***This takes place before Goku and Sanzo find Hakkai and Gojyo. Early pre Saiyuki story*****

***Many thanks to Von-san for her yelling and death threats ^^*****

3 hours, 3 hellish hours of chasing that damn Yokkai….Every time he got with in reach of the damn thing it would disappear again.Out of the corner of his eye he noticed a flash of white. * Ah ha! * Dropping behind a tree he waited for it to round the bend. "EYAH!" The yokkai hit the ground like a ton of bricks. 

Brushing him self off he peered around the forest. "Where the hell am I???"

Groaning a grimy hand swiped at a sweat and dirt caked face. Tripping over his own weary legs he fell in front of the inviting stream, nosily slurping at the water. Sighing happily he rocked back on his heels, taking a moment to enjoy the life giving liquid. Yellow eyes opened once more gazing at his reflection, ragged red Chinese pants and shirt, torn and splattered with a darker shade of red. Longish brown hair pulled back in a ponytail, absently he tugged at one of his ear tails.While his features were those of a young boy, his hollowed gold-flecked orbs were those of an older creature. It was strange, his own face was unfamiliar. After all those years of having nothing but stone and an empty mountainside to stare at. The first time he had seen him self in a mirror he had been shocked, an alien face had been looking back at him. 

Sitting on the grass he swiveled his head toward the path that lay a few feet ahead. *Alright at least I found the stupid road…* Letting his head fall back he stared at the evening sky. *Another night…Did he even care that I was lost? … No I doubt Sanzo even noticed…. Who am I kidding? He doesn't want me any were near him. * The boy flung a rock across the water. * I'm treated like a dog…Goku go fetch!…Stupid monkey!.…Why the hell do I put up with it?…..Because he freed me…….Because he was the first to be kind to me for along time….Because I can't remember…And I'll stay by his side forever.* Clambering ungracefully to his feet he began trudging toward the path.

Shoving open the door to the inn, a white-topped head looked up. "Goku-san! Your back! Are you alright?" The old man looked him over worriedly, the boy smiled reassuringly. "Hai! hai! I'm fine! Just gotta little lost in the woods!" The elderly one shook his head, looking relieved. "We were worried when you didn't return with your friend! When we asked Sanzo-san, he said he didn't know…" The demons smile became a bit strained. "Oh Sanzo never worries! I'm just going to head up to my room and get cleaned up! Oyasumi!" He called cheerfully as possible.

Th first thing that greeted him as he walked through the door, was a fan connecting with the side of his head. Accompanied with a yell, "Damn stupid monkey! Where have you been!?" Sanzo glared at him angrily, it figures, it was hisown fault. After all, everything was his fault. "I got lost." Was the short answer, he pushed past the fuming blond. The priest turned following him, and raising his voice once more. "Where are you going now?!" "To take a bath." Calmly the boy grabbed some things from his room, and continued walking toward the bathroom. Sanzo blinked in surprise, he hadn't expected a response like that. 

After stripping down Goku unceremoniously dumped a bucket of cold water over his head. He Stepped into the tub, sliding down until only his head was unsubmerged. Golden eyes fluttered shut, as the warm water soothed his weary body. With in seconds he was sound asleep. 

Groggily, the young demon attempted to get up out of the tub full of cold water. Kami only knows how long he had been soaking in there, his joints were stiff and didn't seem to feel like responding properly. Sluggishly he dried off and changed into a pair of pajama bottoms, and stumbled back to his room. Sanzo listened to the sound of shuffling, frowning he rose from his bed. Jerking open the door that adjoined the two bedrooms. "Goku! It's 3 am! What the hell are you doing?!" The boy blinked owlishly at him, pausing in mid step. "Gomen……I'll get to bed." Goku answered quietly, in a rather demur voice, that failed to match his usually genki attitude. Unable to find anything else to yell about, he turned back he closed the door and headed to bed

Laying back down the priest began to think over the yokkai's odd behavior, Goku hadn't argued with him, he had seemed rather…Unfocused. And a bit to quiet to be normal. He frowned once more, may be just maybe he was being too rough. He didn't really want the boy to be miserable, just not annoying. 

For the second day the boy was being unnaturally quiet, he had barley touched his breakfast. And had not said a word about eating or food all morning long. Something was definitely wrong, the monk decided he didn't like the attitude change. This was not the Goku he knew, the Goku he knew was a genki,bouncing living ball of energy.He wanted the real Goku back, not the sullen person who had taken his place. 

Not a single smile, not a single fucking smile all fucking day. It was late afternoon now, and he was not happy about it. They should get going, sighing he got up. "Goku we are checking out."He went out stairs to collect their supplies, not bothering to wait for the boy to follow.

The two travelers trudged down the worn dirt road, they walked in silence neither speaking a word. The spiky brown head remained bowed staring intently at his feet, an air of despondence still hung thickly about the boy. Sanzo's anger was rising every minute, he was going to snap if the demon didn't stop sulking soon. His thoughts were ended abruptly as some yokkai burst onto the road.

Cursing violently Sanzo and Goku dropped into fighting stances. "I'm starting to wonder if these guys follow us or something…" Goku murmured irritably, dodging to one side. Out of the corner of his eye Sanzo observed the boy as they fought the demons, something in the usually precise moves were off.The monkey was leaving himself wide open, and was landing strikes sloppily. Delivering a fatal blow to one of the demons, the boy paused long enough to catch his breath. In his off guard state he didn't see the claws aimed at his back. Just before the talon like nails could connect there was enoughter shot. Sending the monkey's attacker flying, killing it instantly. 

Turning with widened eyes the boy found the familiar gun muzzle pointed at his forehead. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! Talk or I'LL SEND YOU TO HELL!" Goku's mouth fell open in shock, as the blond stood before him. Violet eyes narrowed and accusing. He attempted to find words to speak, a lump rose in his throat. "I……I…."He twisted his head to the side, bangs obscuring his eyes. As he hide his face, in a weak attempt at getting himself under control. Another thing he failed at, he thought idly. A pale hand forcefully turned his head back to face his keeper. "Goku?" The gun was gone and the priests voice was softer and tinged with worry. Golden eyes blinked back tears, as his slight shoulders began to tremble.Not uttering a single noise, he stared mournfully back at Sanzo. Fighting to stay together, he was so painfully defenseless. Sanzo felt his chest constrict painfully, but he didn't know why. Why should he care? He shouldn't be affected by this display of weakness. But there was a big difference between shouldn't and did, like the dull ache that was wounded by the hallow shell of the young man. The boys mask had crumbled completely, leaving him standing there shaking with silent tears. He still refused to cry out loud, after all wasn't it the only shred of restraint he had left? Dropping his hand upon Goku's shoulder he pulled him into his arms, pressings the demons head against his chest. Wordlessly he hugged the boy, who finally allowed a sob to escape. Gold eyes squeezed shut as he took in shaky breaths. The boy finally managed to force out a few strangled words. "Am I-I…. useless?" He asked so quietly Sanzo was barley able to catch it. 

The blond tightened his hold a little, gazing gently at the tear stained face. "Baka…You've never been useless." The gold eyes flew open, looking up at him in surprise. "H-Hontou?" Came the unsure reply. "Hai." The priest smiled slightly, stroking the boy's head. A smile formed on the boy's lips as he buried his head once more in Sanzo's chest. Enjoying the brief moment of warmth that he felt, there was no place he would rather be. 

*****YES DONE! I have been saved from the fate of being fed to rabid squirrels and man-eating sharks!~


End file.
